Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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