I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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