So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
