I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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