Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just found a bag of teeth...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
