9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
