how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
