At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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