the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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