Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
