I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
