Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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