when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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