9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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