i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
