i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
