He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
