Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
