Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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