In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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