dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Terrible idea I love it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
