gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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