how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
