Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
