he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
