Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
