No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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