well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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