I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
