I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
