plz talk dirty to me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
