well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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