Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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