We're like a lot better than the average bears
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
