You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
