My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
