It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
