I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
