We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
