then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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