so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
