These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dignity is for republicans.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
