When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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