the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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