Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
