No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
