so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize