My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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