new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
love makes seman taste better
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
