so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
