Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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