And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
